Sociology

According to Winner the motive of writing her book was to give a Christian definition of good sex. It is a book set to bring out the definition of good sex (McCarthy K. (interviewer)  Winner L (Interviewee), 2005). Any sexual activity that occurs outside marriage is not real sex. This is an idea that Winner emphasizes on her book. Unmarried people that have sex simply distort the essence of the whole. Indeed, Winners book deals with an old theme in a new perspective. She is aware of the changes and challenges an individual is likely to encounter in our contemporary society. It is for this reason that she borrows heavily from her experiences. Similarly, Winner exposes some of the lies about sexuality propagated by both the church and culture (Winner, 2005b). Most of these lies are impractical yet continue to be propagated by Christian professions. She comes up with a new reality for Christian and non Christians alike which is moral and acceptable worldwide.

Theology of Sex and Theology of the Body
Winner argues that the feeling of guilt, shame and loneliness after premarital sex can be true sometimes but not all times. There are instances where people feel fantastic and even long for more (New Wineskin Staff (interviewer)  Winner L (Interviewee), 2004). A sinner is not always unaware of his or her sinful nature. Her conclusion therefore is that no matter how one feels about premarital sex, it is still sinful. This is also true of any other sin.

Again there is a church dogma which perceives the body as bad. Since the body cannot be tamed, it has created a lot of anxiety and tension. This tension addressed as conflict between body and spirit makes the latter look sinful and unclean. Further Christians tend to loath sexual acts and desires due to anxiety about their bodies (Winner, 2005b). Christians try as much as possible to disparage the body since they fail to indiscipline it. According to Winner this runs contrary to Christianity as our bodies were created by God. After creation God saw our bodies were good. It is a contradiction for anyone to view it as bad. Similarly, resurrection will come in body (Winner, 2005a).

Communal Nature of Sex
Our society views sex as an individual concern. Winner argues that sex is in fact communal (Winner, 2005b). It is real and forms individual persons. This formation later helps us to realize the greater society that we live in. The contemporary society does not concern itself with what a person does in private. It is believed that no one has the right to interfere with the view of two consenting adults. This is opposed to the idea of communal sex with reminds us of our responsibility towards each other.

The idea of a household and community helps us appreciate the connection and relatedness among ourselves as human beings (Winner, 2005b). In a community just like in a household the members have a shared vision, work and values. This is opposed to our contemporary society where family members simply congregate in the house without genuine mutuality. Winner calls upon us to ensure that we are able to share, connect and communicate with our neighbors. This is how people were able to live in harmony in the past and the same can be practiced in the contemporary society.

Theology of Chastity
Attempts by the church to urge self-discipline, emphasize on biblical teachings about sex, give a reminder of the consequences of premarital sex are not working. A clear idea about chastity is required. According to Winner chastity is practicing sex in Christs body (Winner, 2005a). One remains bound and grounded in the community. Sex outside the bounds of the community is offensive to the body. Chastity is something to be practiced and therefore a spiritual discipline. Just like the physical body requires exercise to keep fit, chastity is a form of spiritual exercise. It is a way to get our entire being heart, body, mind and community in alignment with God (Winner, 2005a).

In her view through the practice spiritual disciplines, such as chastity Christians become one with Gods will. Chastity can be compared to other disciplines such as fasting, keeping vigil or meditation in order to be one with God. An unmarried Christian is therefore reminded that God desires his or her body more than human being would ever do (Winner, 2005a). The suggestion to practice chastity as a spiritual discipline is more appealing and I should say agreeable. It is common to perceive chastity negatively. In most cases is viewed as not being sexually active. Winner suggests that chastity is in fact an action.  One chooses to remain chaste since he or she is practicing a spiritual discipline. It shares similarity with celibacy only that the latter is a conscious decision to remain in this state for an entire lifetime. Just like Apostle Paul noted celibacy is better than marriage. However, each one of us has to live his or her life and not struggle to conform to a certain lifestyle. For instance it is better to marry and engage in sex than choose a life of celibacy and fall into temptations.

Marital Sexuality
Winner argues that in order to avoid being promiscuous in marriage one must have lived a chaste life. Sex is meant to be practiced only in marriage. However, sexuality in marriage is not easy and need to be practiced (Winner, 2005a). A couple must be open about marriage and sex with the community. There is always a feeling that the couples are not doing it right (McCarthy K. (interviewer)  Winner L (Interviewee), 2005). Sexual brokenness is also something being battled in many marriages. Winner argues that real sex follows the rhythm and routine of daily life. This can only be possible due to a shared life that people have together.

As much there are Christian professionals who offer advice on marital sexuality, there are very few who are willing to admit that marital sex is difficult. There are challenges and it is not always exciting. Winner points out that a couple ought to remain chaste even in marriage. They should not confine their sexual life to themselves but open up to the community. This is in fact a difficult concept for Christian professionals to accept and live by.

Cultural and Church Lies about Sexuality
According to the church sex before marriage is bad and sinful. This action is always followed by guilt and a bad feeling (Winner, 2005b). Again, the church teaches that our bodies are out of our control. There exists tension and anxiety among Christians regarding bodies and sexuality. Most Christians try to shun the body as sinful (New Wineskin Staff (interviewer)  Winner L (Interviewee), 2004). Winner has reconstructed this notion of sexuality and the body. She states that our bodies are good and perfect according to the creator. Similarly sex is communal. It is confined in marriage no matter what one feels when practiced outside marriage. In reality premarital sex can be good and make one to feel fantastic but it does not serve the purpose to reunite one with Gods will (Winner, 2005a).

Conclusion
In this time and age when sexual revolution seems to be in vogue, Winners ideas are nothing but inspired. The long tradition and prohibitions by the church are regarded non serious and impractical even by the clergy. The suggestions by Winner are likely to instruct the youth and even older generation about real sex. This is not only proper for the Christians but non Christians and even pagans. Everyone is in deed of some decency. This comes in no other better way than taking chastity as a spiritual discipline.