Should everyone cohabitate before marriage
I think the entire controversy on live-in relationships is just down to two views those who have been in a live in relationship and have emerged smarter and wiser, and those who havent been in a live in relationship and have been twice divorced with three kids and an alimony to support. In my opinion everyone should cohabitate before marriage. The reasons for this are endless but lets focus on the main ones for now. One of the biggest reasons to have a live in relationship is this is as close to married life one can get. Think about it, the couple is under one roof 24x7 - working, relaxing the works. You get used to your partners schedule, their lifestyle, and most importantly their likes and dislikes.
Relationships, as anything in this world, also need nurturing and attention. Being in a live in relationship gives the couple ample freedom to be themselves in an environment with each other, and allows the couple to work out any differences now before they get married. Another advantage of live in relationships is that there are no surprise endings. This means if a couple were to get married before being in a live in relationship they would have a few surprises handed to them in their marriage. What if the man snores Or the woman refuses to eat dinner without the television being on. These are just a few of the small instances that can arise from being in a marriage without having a live in relationship beforehand. Therefore cohabitating before marriage should be a must for every couple in the 21st century.
Being the devils advocate here, Im listing a few reasons why couples should not cohabitate before marriage. One of the most important and serious issues is that off virginal commitment. Since that concept is very conventional it would only be applicable for the traditionalists of society. The conventional folk would argue that being in a live in relationship is blasphemous as men and women should not be physically committed to each other before the holy institution of marriage. Since that belief is widely accepted throughout the world for most conservatives it would be safe to assume that families who are God fearing individuals think it to me a sin for men and women to live together before marriage.
Another serious reason to be against cohabitation would be the cynicism involved after a failed relationship. Once people enter into serious long term relationships they become extremely jaded and closed in if the relationship were not to work out. The serious backlash of a failed long term relationship is that the individual refuses to put in the same effort into another relationship as the fear of a break up always looms over head.
My view point on this issue is that all couples MUST cohabitate before marriage. I strongly believe that if a couple is in love and they plan on spending the rest of their lives together then living together before that should only be a natural thing. For a successful marriage, couples should not be stressing on the smaller aspects of living together. Small problems such as personal hygiene, living lifestyle and other aspects should be taken care of mutually before the couple plans on tying the knot.
The basic point finally amounts to the straw that broke the camels back. If couples are unable to work out the smaller aspects of sharing their lives together, then these few problems will start amounting to a larger problem. Therefore when couples are living together they are well aware that there are some things that will need to change. So, with this mind set at hand a couple would get into a live-in relationship to work out whatever issues they might have before marriage so that when they do plan on tying the knot there are no nasty surprises at hand.
Some critics argue that a live in relationship takes the mystery out of marriage. However, I think that when a couple does cohabitate before marriage they choose to do so with the rest of their life in mind. They understand that being in a serious relationship which could amount to marriage would need work on most days. But if they are already married before having lived together then they would be sweating out the smaller issues of living together in the first year of their marriage. Once things are not so shiny and new anymore, living together 24x7 might become a chore. A partner might realize that they drive each other up the wall when they are with each other all the time. Therefore to avoid the stigma divorce carries with it, cohabitating before marriage would definitely be the much easier option.
Since the time I can remember, I have always wanted to live with the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with before I actually marry them. My parents had a love marriage, but they never really lived with each other before that. Theyve been happily married for 38 years to the date. I always imagined marrying someone who completed me as much as my parents completed and complimented each other. My elder sister, on the other hand, who is now happily married for the past 8 years, lived with her current husband for two years before she actually planned on marrying him. Ive learnt a lot watching my sisters relationship mature with her husband over the past decade. My sister however had spent the better part of her twenties with the person she thought she was going to marry. But after living with him for a year she realized that she could not marry him. Her live in relationship taught her that she was not compatible with the person she felt so strongly about. She was absolutely sure that would marry him, but her live-in relationship proved otherwise.
My sisters example has taught me that it absolutely essential to cohabitate with the person before marrying them. This has taught me to find the right person, without having to marry them before that. If I had to analyze my sisters example, living with her first boyfriend taught her that all live-in relationships do not amount to marriage. It proves as a testing ground of how things will be once they do tie the knot. Had she actually married him, without living with him, she would have already been a divorcee. Therefore her live in relationship helped her find Mr. Right.
I firmly believe that all relationships are not meant to be. If we work hard at our relationships now, building a strong cemented foundation, then life ahead will be smooth sailing as there is always a strong support to fall back on. Live in relationships prove to be that cementing ground of new found love which makes it eternal.
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