Sociology

My heart is sorrowful since I have an aunt that I never got to know.  She lost a battle to cancer before she even hit her twenties.  I will never fully understand what my grandparents went through when they lost their youngest child. I believe that the experience is a pain only a grieving parent can know.  When someone loses a loved one, it is usually an emotionally trying experience for him or her.  However, the death of a child is unique in that it was a life that was never fully realized because truly, they did go before their time.  My grandparents, like many parents, expected to see their child to grow and mature.  They expected to one day pass on and leave her behind.  When they buried their child, I can only imagine how it must have felt to lose all their hopes and dreams for her have a full, happy life. The grieving was intense with the constant feeling that they did not do enough to save her.  One thing is for sure they deeply miss her every day.  Through this paper, I hope to gain a limited understanding of what they might have experienced and how they learned to cope and move on.

Hypothesis
The research study tries to find out how people react to death of their loved ones, specifically when a parent loses a child. The experiences parents go through and the way they cope with bereavement, mourning and letting go. The research study wishes to answer the following questions
How do family members react to death
How does the society deal with death
How do parents deal with the loss of a child
How does the society help the bereaved deal with grief
What are the experiences parents go through after the death of a child
What is the societal and family role in case of death of a child

Literature Review
Death is something that is inevitable since every person had to deal with it in life. Death is a sorrowful event that claims loved ones such as our family members, friends or neighbors. Once a person dies the bereaved go through a normal process of grieving. Although, grieving is a hard process, it helps the bereaved deal with the loss by accepting it and moving on with life (Murray, 2001). Failure to go through the grieving process can lead to depression, physical illness and even emotional problems.
There are various concepts associated with grieving, even though everyone grieves differently. These concepts include numbness, mourning and letting go (Black, 2008). During the grieving process, the bereaved suffers from swift mood changes and intense emotions. The initial stage of grieving is numbness. The numbness stage is also known as the stage of depression whereby the bereaved is in shock, angry, emotional and feels angry at the world and sometimes to God. Immediately a person hears of a loved ones death, the news shocks them. The numbness stage includes being emotionally tormented and angry, a feeling that can last for days or weeks. The numbness sometimes can be helpful as it helps through family pressures and practical arrangements associated with funeral.

The numbness stage is followed by mourning, where the news of death sinks. Sadness and pictures of the dead person clouds the bereaved memory. During mourning, it is difficult to concentrate on everyday tasks due to nostalgic thoughts. During the mourning stage, some people lose interest in things like food and life they also feel de-motivated and sometimes find it hard to sleep or relax (Black, 2008). If the deceased died in the hospital, some people get angry and irritable at the medical staff and all those taking care of the deceased. They sometimes blame them for their loved ones death. The mourning process normally is helped by a funeral and memorial service (Rosenblatt, 2005).The outburst of tears and emotions is a common scene during mourning. The third stage of grieving involve letting go. Over a period, the intense pain felt during mourning lessens. The bereaved comes back to reality and learns that despite the loss life has to go on. During the letting go phase, the sadness, the appetite, the energy levels and sleeping patterns slowly get back to normal.

The symbolic interaction theory and feminist theory can be applied incase of bereavement and grieving. Symbolic interaction theory suggests ways in which families interact with other personalities in the society. The theory looks at the everyday behavior of individuals and explores ways in which people communicate using symbols to get a subjective and interpersonal meaning of a situation. In case of grieving, where a parent loses a child, the way the family interacts with the other family members determines which role the society will take in situation. The theory also suggests that situations get meaning depending on the social interaction with others. For example, people regard death as something painful, which requires co-operation from the family members, friends and the society.
Feminist theory suggests that women should work together to improve their position in life (Roy, 2009). Therefore, incase of bereavement women should work together to help each other through the grieving process. Women regard grieving as a normal process and incase a woman loses a child all other women should mourn with her and give her emotional support.

Methodology and Results
The research study tries to find out how people react to death of their loved ones, specifically when a parent loses a child. The research study wishes to study how family members react to death of their loved one, how the society helps bereaved family deal with grief and the support given to such a family. The research study also wishes to find out which concepts and theories are most applicable when a parent loses a child.

A random sample of 100 families was taken from one neighborhood. The sample consisted of families with 1to 10 kids. The Parents in the families were interviewed face-to-face one at a time. A preset questionnaire containing ten questions was presented to the others members of the family. The random sample consisted of families where they have lost childchildren and the ones who have not. The parents who had lost a child or children were supposed to express the feeling they left due to the loss. They were also supposed to describe the support they received from the other family members and the neighbors. The parents from the non-bereaved families were tested for the reaction to death matters, the support they gave and the general perception they have regarding bereavement.

The results from the study show that women were more susceptible to grief than men were. Although men grieved as well, they preferred not to show emotions such as crying, numbness and depression. Of the statistics taken 5of the families had at least lost one child.60 of those bereaved grieved for their loved ones,70 felt emotionally numb,73 mourned while 75 were able to let go after a period of one month and above. The study showed that women were more co-operative during mourning as the 60 of the bereaved families said they got consolation, self-help and company from women. Some family said that men offered financial help and funeral arrangement preparation but did not console them. Eighty percent of the whole population interviewed agreed that grieving was a healthy process as it helps people overcome the loss.

Conclusion and Results
The results of the study were consistent with the views I had regarding bereavement. According to my view, death of a child is a sad event that brings many emotional reactions to both parents. Losing a child is most painful for a parent because it means a lost future. People mourn differently for their loved ones. For example, women are more emotional if they lost a child than men. Women tend to cry, break down emotionally and even get depressed (Zaiger, 2005). In case of my Aunt, my grandmother and my mother were very emotional. My grandmother fainted on hearing of my aunts death. My mother did not eat for three days and hardly slept. During the mourning stage and even funeral, my grandmother could not stop crying. Both the symbolic interaction theory and feminist theory are right when they state that people react differently to situations because of social interaction (Murray, 2001). Since my grandmother was a very social person who participated in the community activities, many people turned up to help her during the grieving period. Women turned in big numbers to console her, help in housework and even funeral arrangements.

The research study was successful in finding out how a parent deals with a childs death. Some of the unanswered questions regarding the study were why men reacted differently in case of bereavement. In a society where patriarchy was practiced how comes men did not participate as much during bereavement as women The other question was why the death of a child was more painful than death of an old person and how comes the society took death more seriously than other events.

In further research regarding bereavement of a child, the study should focus on the perception of other family members except parents, such as brothers and sisters. The research should also concentrate of mens emotions regarding bereavement. In a society where men are not supposed to cry or show emotions, a further research should be established on the ways men mourn and grieve. However, the research would have been more successful if focused on several different neighborhoods. Taking diversified religious family would also have given us different concepts regarding grieving.