Sociology

Some statements are made without reason or thinking, while others are stated to made a valid point or inference.  The speaker does not always get the reaction being sought in that sometimes ridicule, laughter, or criticism is the result.  If someone were to say, I want to be married by the time I am 30 years old (Assignment notes, pg 1, 2010), most people would laugh or there would be an uncomfortable silence amidst the group of people.  There is no mention of loving the person with whom they are going to marry, just the inference of marrying before a certain age (Lecture notes, pg 2, 2010).   Getting married is a serious and momentous step for one to take, but it cannot and should not be done on a deadline.  Marriage is a union between two people who not only love one another, but are completely committed to each other as well.  Anyone who predicts or plans to be married by a certain age is doing so out of ignorance and immaturity.
 
Each person seeks to find someone to spend the rest of their lives with.  Little girls play pretend games where they dress-up in high heels and put a lace tablecloth on their head to mimic what they see as a bride (Rubenstein, 2009).  Little girls often fantasize about their own wedding day and how they will look and what it will be like, but these childhood fantasies do not go beyond the appearance of the wedding day.  The childhood dreams do not take into consideration the emotional connection, or the love, or the spirit upon which the act of getting married represents.
   
Certain qualities may be appealing to one person and repulsive to another.  Physical attraction is a given for both men and women when it comes to choosing a partner for either a long-term relationship or just a brief encounter (Lecture Notes, pg 1, 2010). Some women prefer men with short hair, while others prefer men with long flowing hair.  Some men will only date blonds with a big bosom, while other men prefer a red-head with a smaller chest.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or so it has been said, but beauty is different to each person.  There are actually people in this world who are drop dead gorgeous, but as soon as they open their mouth their appearance suddenly seems jaded and vile.  Physical appearances are only a part of what makes a person.  There is more to someone than just their looks.
   
Marriage is something that takes a tremendous amount of work and dedication (Knox  Schacht, 2010).  It does not just automatically fall perfectly into place like in a fairy-tale.  Even those with the highest level of intelligence can be brought to the level of acting like a genuine ass in the midst of a marital argument.  Couples that have been married over twenty years can attest to the fact that there were points within the marriage that walking away seemed like the only thing to do (personal communications, February 28, 2010).  Marital arguments occur for the same reasons that arguments occur between friends or family.  Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree.  Financial issues, children, vacation plans, which way to put the toilet paper on the roller, leaving the toilet seat up, and leaving the cap off the toothpaste are all reasons for marital dysfunction and arguments. Some of the reasons listed have a little more integrity for an argument than do others, but nonetheless arguments will happen within a marriage.
   
Is the magical age of 30 supposed to indicate that all the ducks are in a row, and marriage would be a complete success at this age  The answer is doubtful.  No one can determine when and if their career will end up where they would like for it to be by the age of 30.  There is no magical number to indicate the right time to get married.  Astrologists compile birth charts and star and planet alignment charts claiming to know the best Karmatic time to get married, but these are just personal theories without any real justification (Sepharial, 2003).  Some men are still in the mindset of a hormonally charged sixteen year old boy at the age of 30, but does this  mean that they are not ready for marriage  The choice is up to the individual person and the person with whom they want to marry.  It is a decision that should be made by two people and not just because of the ideology or theory of one person involved.
   
How do you know for sure that this is the right choice  Has any real thought been put into what happens beyond the big day, the wedding cake, the band, and the honeymoon  What happens if one gets married by the age of 30 and finds themselves divorced by the age of 31  There does not appear to be any mention of anything other than getting married by the age of 30.  Suppose one does get married before the age of 30 as stated.  Now suppose that two months into the marriage they find that this person is not who they thought they were.  In other words, suppose for a moment that this person is still married to someone else, or has a horrible credit rating, or loses a job and cannot seem to get off the sofa to find another place of employment, or worse yet, what if this person turns out to be an abuser. What then  Sometimes you must be careful what you wish for.  Essentially, the goal of getting married was achieved by the age of 30, but at what cost  Suddenly the big day, wedding pictures and wedding cake seems like a sham or a faade.  It all seems like an act, but it is as much of an act as is the act of the one with the ultimate goal of getting married by a certain age, is it not
   
Other issues come into play and have been touched on previously within this writing.  These issues concern financial situations and children. Money is the main reason for marital discord and divorce (Butler  Walker, 1999).  Couples are most often both employed in this day and time given the status of the economy.  It ultimately takes two incomes to survive.  Arguments surrounding money are influenced by one circumstance or another.  What if one partner gets laid off due to company downsizing  What if one partner gets sick and cannot work for an undetermined period of time (Lecture notes, pg 1, 2010)  What if the wife gets pregnant unexpectedly  These are all reasons that could change a couples financial status.  Somehow, the age of 30 really does not have any relevance in this equation because these things can happen to anyone at any age.  An unplanned pregnancy can happen even if birth control were being used. Birth control is not always 100 effective, and condoms are known to break.  An unplanned pregnancy has been known to be the reason for couples getting married.  Couples sometimes choose to get married so that the child will be born in wedlock as not to bastardize the child.  Some couples choose to get married for medical insurance reasons, last name on the birth certificate, or just because they feel obligated to.  None of these are concrete reasons to engage in marriage, but to each his own.
   
It should be more than obvious that the statement referring to getting married by the age of 30 is more than disagreed with in this writing. Marriage is a sacred and contractual union between two people that should not be entered into lightly.  Instead, it should be given much thought, and it should be discussed at great length.  The excitement that surrounds the planning of a wedding might seem exhilarating, but there is much more to a marriage than just the wedding day.  Predicting and planning to be married by a specific age is redundant to say the least.  It shows a sincere lack of maturity and commonsense.

Someone entering into a marriage to satisfy a personal goal is destined for failure because the foundation upon which the marriage commenced was flawed.  This all goes back to the childhood lesson of thinking before you speak.  Much thought should be given to marriage and comments such as this should be thought through before being made.    Suffice it to say, if someone wants to marry before the age of 30, then so be it.