Sociology

Marriage, as an institution, facilitates the union of man and woman enabling them to raise a family. If the spouses belong to same culture, their cultural influences on their behavior and thinking are similar, and so marriages are done within ones culture. But with the advent of globalization, people from different cultures are not only interacting with each other but also marrying each other. People from diverse cultures are leading their lives with each other and trying to assimilate themselves in the culture of their spouses. One type of cultural encounter that is happening regularly is the interaction of people from Islamic culture with the people belonging to the Western culture. The cultural encounters, where two cultures meet and unite in the ties of matrimony are depicted in numerous literary works. One such work which focuses on the cultural encounters in context to marriage is the book Not Without My daughter by Betty Mahmoody. The protagonist of the story, Betty Mahmoody, a Christian woman belonging to the Western culture gets married to Sayyed Bozorg Mahmoody, an Iranian doctor practicing in America. The Western culture of Betty and Islamic culture of Mahmoody meet each other and seek to assimilate into each other, as Betty seeks to lead her life by incorporating Iranian culture in her American way of living.

Culture
The term culture is used to define the social environment, religious beliefs, values, behavior patterns and attitudes of a person. Culture of a person is shaped by hisher religion and the region in which heshe is living. The culture is transmitted from one generation to another through the social unit of families. It is in the family that a child is taught about hisher culture. As the child grows up, the parents strive to instill cultural beliefs in minds of their children.  Owing to this influence of culture in hisher growing up years, an individual continues to lead hisher life in accordance to his culture throughout hisher life. It is the culture of a human society that influences all the aspects of human lives, from religious beliefs to hisher day to day living. The dressing, food habits, behavior, thinking and attitude of an individual are shaped by hisher culture. For instance, an individual belonging to an Islamic culture will lead hisher life according to the Islamic values. But this adherence to Islamic values can change from one country to another. The culture of a person living in an Islamic country would be somewhat different from that of an individual residing in a non-Islamic country. The culture of a society determines the gender roles of its members and also decides the social position of men and women. As culture is a significant factor that influences the behavior and thinking of an individual, people belonging to the same culture bond easily with each other. Even in the matter of marriage, human beings tend to prefer a spouse from their own culture. But this trend is changing with the advent of globalization, as people belonging to diverse cultures are interacting with each other regularly. This interaction is leading to marriage between people belonging to different cultures.

Cultural Encounters
Cultural encounters resulting in marriages come across as a meeting point where people belonging to different cultures lead their lives together. When a person belonging to a Western culture marries an individual who has grown up in Islamic culture, both the individuals seek toadapt to each others culture. For instance in the book Not Without My Daughter, Betty who was raised in Western culture tries to assimilate into the culture of her Iranian husband. She accompanies her husband to Iran to spend a two-week vacation there. As she is aware of the fact that a woman is expected to cover her head in Iran, she uses a scarf to cover her head even beforereaching Iran. She also allows her daughter to be named Mahtob, which was an Iranian name. Through these attempts, Betty tries to become a part of the culture to which her husband belonged.  Bettys marriage was a union of Western culture and Islamic culture. Although there were many differences in the culture of Betty and her husband Moody, they lived amicably after their marriage. Living in America, Betty and Moody led a happy and contented married life. In a marriage where the spouses belong to different cultures, it is very important that each spouse adapts and understand the culture of other spouse. In a house where two cultures exist, the children are reared in a social environment which is influenced by the culture of the mother and father.  The behavior and thinking of the children display the influence of both the cultures. The meeting of two cultures in a marriage has positive effects as well as negative effects. It depends upon the spouses whether they convert their marriage into harmonious union of two cultures or conflicting meeting of diverse cultures.

Positive Effects
Marriages which follow cultural encounters remove the barriers that have divided people on the basis of culture. Owing to such marriages, people belonging to different cultures try to understand and respect other peoples culture. The wide gap that exists between a person, who has led hisher life in Western culture and an individual who has been brought in Islamic culture is narrowed considerably owing to such marriages. Living with each other, these individuals belonging to different cultures get to know about each others culture and interact with members belonging to a culture which differs from their culture in various aspects. An individual who has lived in Western culture will come to know about the kind of life led by a person belonging to
the Islamic culture and vice versa. This kind of marriages will also lead to unity in the society, as the distrust that have developed in the minds of people while looking at persons belonging to other culture will be erased completely. Children, who have grown up in families where the spouses belong to different cultures, learn to respect others peoples culture even if it is far different from their own cultural beliefs. An understanding of a foreign culture will also aid human beings to comprehend the vainness in dividing the society on the basis of ones culture. The conflicts, which arise in a society owing to the biased attitude of persons belonging to a particular culture while interacting with people who are members of a different culture, will be reduced drastically. People would stop judging persons raised in other cultures on the basis of cultural stereotypes.

One more positive effect of marriages between people coming from different cultures is the positive influence it will have on the culture of the spouses. As the spouses are living together, they will value each others culture and incorporate some of the positive aspects of their spouses culture in their culture. And when these cultural values are passed on to their children, the positive aspects of both the cultures will be blended into the lives of their children. These cultural values would aid the children in their overall development and also contribute to the welfare of the society by bonding people from diverse cultures. If people belonging to different cultures comprehended the fact  that each culture can have some positive influence on the life of
its followers then they would not harbor dislike towards any culture.

Negative Effects
Although there are numerous positive effects of cultural encounters resulting in marriages, conflicts can emerge between the spouses owing to their different cultural influences. For instance, a person who has grown up in the Western culture would find it difficult to accept the restrictions placed upon the freedom of an individual in the Islamic culture. Owing to the inability of one of the spouses to adapt to other spouses culture, conflicts begin to arise in the relations of the husband and wife. In the book, Not Without My Daughter, these types of conflicts are experienced by Betty in her relation with her Iranian husband. While living in America, Betty lived happily with her husband who has been reared in Islamic culture. But when she arrives in Iran, her life takes an ugly turn, as his husbands behavior changes completely.

Betty discovers that her husbands culture stands in contrast to her culture. She is unable to adapt
to her husbands culture which limits the freedom of a woman and places her life under the control of her husband. The cultural beliefs of her husbands society surprise Betty. She is so shocked by her husbands changed behavior owing to the influence of his culture that she decides to divorce him. Under the influence of his culture, Moody not only mistreats Betty but also prevents her from returning to America.  Although Betty tries to incorporate some of her husbands cultural values in her way of living, Moody fails to appreciate Bettys efforts. On the contrary, he expects her to lead her whole in accordance to his cultural values even though these cultural values were restricting her freedom. As Moody tries to impose his culture on Betty, their married life turns sour. The cultural differences of Betty and Moody are reflected in their behavior and the emergence of conflicts in their relation.

Another negative effect of marriages between people belonging to different cultures is the conflict experienced by children regarding their cultural identity.  Children growing up in families, where the parents belong to different culture, are unable to identify themselves with one particular culture. As they have grown up in a family where beliefs of two different cultures are being followed, they are confused regarding their cultural identity. This confusion is experienced even in their religious beliefs, as their cultures preach religious values which are in contrast to each other. For instance, the religious values preached by Western culture are far different from those taught by Islamic culture. And when conflicts begin to emerge in the relationship of a husband and wife owing to their different cultural values, it affects their children also. The detrimental effect of parents conflicts on children is evident from Mahtobs situation in the book Not Without My Daughter. Mahtob has to bear with the mistreatment of her fathers relatives, owing to her fathers insistence to lead their lives according to his culture. In a marriage which has resulted from cultural encounter, it is necessary for each spouse to respect each others culture and behave accordingly. When the spouses fail to understand this and try to force their culture on the other spouse, the cultural meeting turns into a conflicting situation. Cultural encounters resulting in marriage are beneficial for the society, as they bring unity among people belonging to different cultures but at the same time these marriages can result in conflict among the spouses owing to the difference in their cultures.