Sociology

There are so many diverse varieties in terms of describing the relational qualities of families.  Some family relationships are strong and loving, and some family relationships are weak and hateful.  It is that the strong and loving types of family relationships make for peaceful and stress free lives, while the weak and hateful types of family relationships make for warring and stressful lives.  All people need help from the people with which they are in relationships, especially in families.  When two people are consciously aiming to do their best to understand and help one another, then love springs from the relationship and prevents hateful disturbances which can lead to fragmented relationships and mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual disturbances.  The life styles and cycles of families over generations are able to tell poignant tales of the history of relationships within families, and, hopefully, lend insight into how families are entering phases of breakdown or reconstruction.  In aiming to gain more detailed information about family relationships and life cycles, I have conducted an interview with members of the Samlo family.

Selected Family
The Samlo family has been interviewed and assessed based on the testimonies of Mary Samlo and Laura Garby, discussing members of their family over the course of three generations.  Bill and Mary Salmo married in 1972, both age 26, had three children, and later divorced in 1989.  Laura Garby born in 1977 is the oldest of the three daughters, including Eve born in 1980 and the youngest Leanne in 1983.  In 1997, Don Bellow and Laura Samlo (maiden name) were cohabitating and had a daughter, Hannah Samlo.  In 2006, John Garby born in 1963 and Laura Samlo were married.  They are trying to have children and have been trying for the past four years.  Mike born in 1980 and Eve Rearson were married and had a son Aden in 2008.  They are expecting their second child, a daughter who they plan to name Ava.  Leanne Samlo is currently single and not in a romantic relationship.  In regard to employment, Bill and Mary are both retired from their full time positions as an engineer and a nurse respectively.  John is an engineer and Laura works part time from home.  Mike is an x ray technician and Eve is a lawyer.  Leanne is a naturalist at a local state park.  Hannah is homeschooled by Laura and Aden is enrolled in child care.

Genogram
Family Life Style
In regard to family life style and life cycles, it is important to consider the level at which each member of the family is experiencing family life development and changes from the perspectives of their particular roles (Carter  McGoldrick, 1989).  Bill and Mary may be at a painful point in their lives.  They are both entering older adulthood and have neither been able to rectify their own romantic relationship nor begin new relationships.  This has caused distress to their daughters, particularly Laura, who would like to be able to see her parents in a healthy, committed, monogamous relationship with one another or with new spouses.  Although Laura started out in a romantic relationship which went awry, she is now ending her young adulthood happily married to John who is in middle adulthood. 

Although they have not yet been able to have children, Laura is hopeful that they will be able to make it work.  Lauras daughter Hannah benefits from John and Lauras strong and traditional relationship, where the father figure is a good provider and her mother is home to care for her.  Mike and Eve are happily married in young adulthood and expecting their second child, although Laura believes that Eve is distressed because of the pressure of being a major wage earner in the household.  Aden is not yet two years old and is already in child care outside of the home.  Eve is pregnant and working.  Mary also confides that Eve is under stress and wishes for all of her daughters to be well provided.  Leanne is happy in her career as a naturalist, yet is somewhat hesitant about beginning another romantic relationship.  For some reason, part of her does not see herself in a future family picture of marriage and children.  Laura notes that Leanne experienced the worst of their parents failed marriage and perhaps feels estranged.  According to Mary, both of her grandchildren are doing well, and she is glad that she has recently retired, so that she is better able to help Eve.

Family Challenges
It appears that there are challenges in several of the Samlo family relationships which put a strain on the dynamics between people.  Bill and Mary are both resistant to finding partners, although Mary claims that they are simply not interested in either being together or finding new mates.  Laura claims that the mental disturbances of her parents are what prevent them from moving on.  Although Laura says that she is still hopeful for children, it is also distressing for John and Laura to have been unsuccessful thus far in their attempt to have children together.  With John at age 47 and Laura at age 32, it is important for them both to place their energies in figuring out a solution together.  Mike and Eve are also finding strain in their relationship, due to the pressure placed upon Eve to work and earn a large portion of the family income.  With a one year old about to turn two and a new baby on the way, Eve truly needs help.  Leanne is still trying to figure out what she wants from life, and has entered young adulthood a bit unsure of herself in regard to family relationships.  Hannah is claimed to be doing very well, is engaged in several projects, and has friends in her homeschool group.  Laura says that Aden was doing better when Eve was not working, and that he is now more sensitive and cranky.

Family Approach
In regard to how the Samlo family approaches problems, it appears that Laura is very open and communicative and notes that her father and her sister Leanne are also ready and willing to discuss problems and aim to find solutions.  In speaking with Mary, it appears that although she is forthcoming, it is in measured amounts.  She does not say very much or open up her feelings to a great degree.  If what Laura has stated is correct, it is beneficial for Bill, Laura, and Leanne to continue to try to spur dialogue about family issues in the search for open expression and figuring out solutions to family problems.  Mary says that she helps her children with finances and child care as much as she can, yet it is not clear whether or not she provides intellectual and compassionate support to her children about how to resolve family issues.  Laura also confides that Mary was always a hard worker and more focused on practical matters such as money and how to help with her daughters educational and work lives than she is in providing guidance about romantic relationships and husband, wife, father, and mother roles.

Professional Assessment
In regard to helping the family, I believe it is important that the family be able to discuss both the lacking and importance of traditional family roles.  Although some people believe it is pass, the dynamic circle of support which flows from husband to wife to children is a remarkably important conversation to have.  The way is which a husband treats his wife often carries over in to how a mother is able to care for her children.  Perhaps one of the most problematic aspects of this family is how both Bill and Mary were full time workers, leaving little time and energy for their children.  If this couple could have arranged their relationship in a way in which the mother was freer to provide child care to her children, it is possible that the entire family would now be in better shape.  In counseling this family, it would be important to engage in person centered techniques in which to draw out true emotions and stories from each family member, helping people to note how negative patterns affect their lives (Connell, A., Dishion, T., Yasui, M.,  Kavanagh, 2007).  It is also important to have a solution focused mind set in figuring out the ways in which this family can come to insights about how to steer themselves in better and more fulfilling directions (Hudson, 2008).